In my line of work, I see a lot of things that leave me SMH (shaking my head).

  • The woman who insists to the court that she should still get child support because, at 22 and 25, her kids are still living with her and not working, so why should she have to support them by herself?
  • The guy who has 11 kids (and another on the way) and is outraged that one of his four baby-mamas is taking him to court for child support. He’s injured, you see – can’t work – busted-ass broke. Doesn’t matter that the four kids he’s got with baby-mama number four are all dressed top-of-the-line and have the latest electronic toys. Apparently he majicked them up out of thin air.
  • The kid who waddles in like a penguin because his pants are drooping off his ass like a soaking wet diaper and expects the Judge to take him seriously.
  • The woman who is fighting to keep her baby, yet never takes her eyes off her phone even once to look at her screaming little infant – just keeps pushing the stroller back and forth aimlessly (and, incidentally, into the back of my legs) with her foot,
  • The teenager who makes sure everyone is watching before she adjusts her boobs spilling out the neckline of the tensor bandage she wore as a dress.  (Seriously – I could tell from behind not only that she wore a thong but that it was probably time to wax!
  • The man wearing a Nike track suit stretched over his drooping paunch that paired nicely with the pink blouse with ruffled neckline and the pearl necklace he wore underneath who plagues the court clerks with his story that he watched the cops go behind the counter and destroy his file just so they could suspend his license.  (The files, by the way, are not kept behind the counter!)
  • and of course the idiot who thinks it’s funny to says he’s “packing a piece…. of Trident. Want some?” at the security check-through.

I mean, you’d think *something* a bit more dramatic than being escorted directly out of the courthouse would’ve ensued to liven up the wait at the vetting counter!

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