Yesterday, I spent $85 on makeup and hair stuff. That’s right, $85 ill-afforded dollars on prettifying stuff. I have a new job to start soon and somewhere they’ve written a law that you’re not allowed to wear pajamas to court. Who knew.
So, being pretty much useless at the makeup counter, I told my seven year old “Go get me makeup. I need boring grown-up colours that look good on me – not happy colours that look good on you.” Naturally, she nailed it.
She picked out NYC “IndividualEyes” for green eyes – this stuff, here:
I tried it on last night and while I admit the results were aesthetically pleasing, the entire time the stuff was on my face, I was fighting the urge to take my nails to my face. How do people function all day, every day, with stuff on their faces!? I don’t get it. It’s itchy and slippery and makes me feel that if I smile, something’s going to crack.
I also had to use other stuff – so I bought Garnier’s BB Cream, which I’m assured will give me a “radiant, glowing complexion”. My mental image is Michelle Phan (I love her makeup tutorials! Check them out here ) but with my luck, I’ll look more like Divine.
“Makeup is an acquired taste”, I’m told, which brings me to ask “Why would anyone want to?”
Oh, yeah, right – because job.
So, this job. It requires me to, as I said, not wear pajamas any more. That part sucks. But the money? Boo-yah!
“It’s very stressful,” I’ve been told about the job, and not just because I have to figure out which end of a makeup applicator doesn’t go in my eye. Yes, I get that. Being busted-ass broke is very stressful, too, and for once I’d like to be very stressed in my new car driving to that little spa on the corner where I can be very stressed in a mud bath for half an hour. I want to know what it’s like to be very stressed as I deposit my cheque in the bank. I’d love to know what it’s like to be very stressed because my bills are paid off and I can’t decide if I should buy more makeup or take the kid to the movies.
All stress is relative and I’d like to try a higher class of relative for once, is all I’m saying, and if that involves makeup, so be it.